Journey Desert Sage Root Beer

Before i dive into this review (which is bound to be short), i just want to toot my own horn and say that i have officially been professionally reviewing root beers for one year now. Looking back, it's amazing and awe inspiring to see how many lives i've blessed with this important work i do. I appreciate all of the praise you, my loyal readers, shower upon me on a regular basis. So here's to another great year of root beer reviewing. Cheers!

So anyway, for the first review of my second official year, i'm pleased to announce that i tracked down one of the other two root beers created by the Journey soft drinks company. For a rundown on Journey, please see my Journey John Barleycorn post as it will save everyone time. The basics are that the company claims to make sodas from the best ingredients available. But from my review of John Barleycorn, the company has a lot more work to do. Even some of you, my faithful readers, put in some of your comments affirming my astute observation of a truly awful root beer (although, i will concede that one with a far inferior ability to mine could easily come to the same conclusion). Well i am sorry to say that this root beer is in the same wheelhouse.

The label on the 12 oz. bottle is basically just like that of John Barleycorn with a different color scheme. There is a soft green background to coincide with the Desert Sage name. I don't know if it's just a clever name or if they actually put Desert Sage in the drink, but if so i have something to say to the Journey company... STOP IT! This stuff is just as bad as John Barleycorn. It is completely flat, it doesn't taste like root beer at all, and it leaves a nasty taste in your mouth afterward. It tastes extremely similar to Route 66, almost like a rotten fruit flavor. It's awful. Don't waste your time with this company (again).

My official review is that Journey Desert Sage gets 1 (one) IBC. I don't know who in their right mind would think this company makes quality root beers. I haven't tried any of their other sodas, but i think any soda company worth its salt can be judged entirely from its root beer, and this company happens to have three root beers. So far, Journey has two strikes. That's enough for me to never want anything to do with them again, but i will continue my quest to track down the final Journey root beer. Don't hold your breath though.

Pearson Bros. Root Beer

This is another one of the root beers i have recently ordered online. Before i get into the root beer, i want to give you the run down of Soda Samurai, the site i ordered this root beer from. I like the site because they have a decent root beer selection (as well as many other kinds of sodas), i can order the root beers individually instead of in packs or cases, the shipping isn't outrageous, and they even sent me this little bottle opener key chain, which will come in handy for those pesky non-twist tops. So kudos to you Soda Samurai. Check them out if you get a chance. They are decent.

Anyway, Pearson Bros. root beer is made in San Francisco, CA, and the reason i know that is because it says so on the bottle. Other than that, i found it hard to find much info about Pearson Bros. However, I did a bit of digging and investigative journalists everywhere should be proud of me for finding this website that quotes the creaters of Pearson Bros. Root Beer, Matt and Eric Pearson (and yes, they are actually brothers). This article in the San Francisco Chronicle newspaper tells that the root beer has been around since 1996 and can be found mostly in the Bay Area. Aside from this, i can't find much else on Pearson Bros. But I guess there are a lot of famous Peasons out there, including the distrubutors of some well known but unappealing candy, and even a statistical genius of sorts. I actually knew some Pearsons growing up in Northern Arizona, and they seemed pretty successful as well. Must be something in the name. I guess it only makes statistical sense that the probability of a Pearson getting into the root beer business is much higher than a person with any other surname. Don't believe me? Take a look at this. I'm pretty sure it proves my point.

The bottle is a 12 oz. clear glass bottle and the label is very simple, but it stands out. Red really catches the eye, or at least my eye, which is what is important. It has a picture of the Golden Gate Bridge on it and big text of the name of the root beer, but not much else. It's very plain, but i like it. And unfortunately, that may be the only thing i like about it. Let's just start off by saying i am not sure what it is, but i have a prejudice against root beers in clear glass bottles. There are a few i have liked, but it's rare.

So what's wrong with Pearson Bros.? Let's start with the color. The clear glass bottles give away the fact that the color of the root beer isn't very rich or deep. It's very light brown in color and transparent enough for me to see right through it. Again, this is usually an indication to me that i am not going to like the root beer. I have reviewed enough of them to make this correlation. So if the color is off, the taste isn't going to be there either. This stuff is very bland. It has enough carbonation, but just barely. And the flavor is very watery and sugary. It doesn't linger and doesn't make an impression, much like many of the other light colored, clear glass bottle root beers (I'm looking at you Olde Brooklyn). But while it's nothing to write home about, it's not completely awful either. There just isn't anything about it that would make me want to travel to the Bay Area for more.

My official review is that Pearson Bros. gets 4 (four) IBCs. I've had worse, but i've also had much, much better. It doesn't stand out from many of the other root beers and seems like just another label with not much going on inside. So for those of you in the Bay Area who are looking for some good root beer, you will probably need to look else where. But to be completely honest, you're probably Chinese and don't drink root beer anyway. Hey, according to Pearson, it's a statistical fact.

Goose Island Root Beer

Hello my faithful readers. I apologize again for the length between my reviews, but it is getting harder to find root beers to review in my area, so i have to branch out. As a result, this is a very special review for two reasons. One, this is the root beer i was unable to try in Chicago due to it being out of stock in the grocery store. Two, this is one of the root beers i have ordered online in my first round of mail order root beering. I finally turned to ordering new root beers online and having them shipped to me here in Phoenix, and this isn't ideal for me because it's expensive and i usually have to order at least a six pack (some sites require i order a whole case). The site i ordered this root beer from is called Straub's. They do offer some samplers, but regardless of what you order, it has to at least be a six pack, and shipping isn't the cheapest. But i gotta do what i gotta do, and this is what the next phase of my root beer reviewing requires of me. So anyway, let's get to it, shall we?

Goose Island Root Beer is native to Chicago. The Goose Island Brewpub first opened it's doors in 1988 and focuses on brewing beers and hand crafted sodas. In addition to root beer, Goose Island makes 4 other flavors of soda. There are two locations where Goose Island now maintains brewpubs, both of which act as a restaurant where visitors can go and grab a bite to eat with their custom made brew of choice. From the website, they seem like pretty decent places to go for an evening meal. Maybe i'll have to check it out if my wife and i decide to get back to Chicago any time soon.

The bottle is a dark brown glass, 12 oz. bottle with a stick on label. I like the design on the bottle, and it's apparently pretty new. I was looking at other reviewers and seeing what one in particular said about Goose Island (which was a sham of a review if you ask a professional like me), and the old label is kinda corny and less desirable. This new label is simple, bold, clean, and neo-classic. I dig it. It's very straight forward and doesn't waste time. Let that be a lesson to the rest of you unreviewed root beers out there. Don't waste my time!

This root beer is made with 100% cane sugar. I am not one that usually gets hung up on this aspect of root beer anatomy, but i know there are a lot of people out there who do. So with that i will say that this is probably the best of the cane sugar root beers i have had. This stuff is really good. It reminds me a little of Stewart's, with just a tiny touch of carmel, good carbonation, and a great, smooth root beer flavor throughout. This stuff definitely delivers. Another notable cane sugar root beers is AJ Steven's, but there is something about it that really kinda turns me off to cane sugar. It's not bad, it's just... different. Like drinking the milk at the end of a bowl of Frosted Flakes. Kinda sludgy; i don't recommend it. But Goose Island does a great job of tasting like a great root beer should taste. In the end, it has a winning recipe. Maybe not on level with Iron Horse, but definitely up there with the Saranac crowd.

My official review is that Goose Island gets 8 (eight) IBCs. It's a good root beer, and one that i think Chicago should run with. Berghoff kinda steals the claim that it's Chicago's favorite, but time and time again i am not that impressed with it. But i think Goose Island has the right taste. It's decent, and unfortunately the only way i found of getting it was to go online. But if you're willing to go to those lengths for a good hand crafted root beer, this one is worth the shipping.

Don't be alarmed...

Ok, this is just a quick little update that i thought was kinda funny. I was going through some old postings and just double checking links and things to update, and when i clicked on one of the reviews, i came up with this warning.

Just so you know, i am NOT trying to trick you into giving me your personal information. Rest assured, i am here to share my reliable root beer knowledge with you kind and gentle folks. More reviews are on the way, i promise. However, from now on i will require your social security numbers and bank accounts in order to access my blog. It's protocol. I'm sure you understand.

Judge Wapner Root Beer

I'll tell ya... every once in a while one of these things falls in your lap that just reinvents the whole game. I'll just preface this by saying I'm a fan of the Chuck Norris propaganda that has been floating around over the past few years, although it's a little played out by now. But i think this is the next man to break onto the scene of pseudo-celebrity turned pop culture icon: Judge Wapner. That's right, i said Wapner. For those of you who don't know who this mountain of a man is/was, he was the presiding star of a popular TV court room show for real life small claims trials. The People's Court ran throughout the entire decade of the 1980's and into the early 90's. This man is a pioneer. Judge Judy and Judge Joe Brown had better be worshiping this guy's image every night before bed because they wouldn't even have a career without him. I've even heard that Wapner was so influential that even Dustin Hoffman would rearrange his whole schedule to make sure he watched the show. He would allegedly freak out if he couldn't watch it. He man... gotta watch Wapner... Although i could go on and on introducing this man who has made my childhood life seem just and fair, seeking justice for the wrongs of the small claims court universe, but i'll let the root beer do the rest of the talking. Judge Wapner Root Beer comes to us from Blue Dog Beverages. This root beer has been around since the dawn of time and has been waiting for the right person to come along to represent it fairly in a court of law. It appears to be more than just coincidence. Spoiler alert!: before i even tried this, i knew it would at least get 7 IBCs.

The only way to truly represent this 12 oz. glass bottle justly is to prominently display a gloriously terrifying portrait of the man who has struck so much fear into small claims evil-doers hearts. Judge Wapner's portrait carries so much credibility that you don't even need to write anything on the label. But what the heck, let's do it anyway. Aside from the name of the root beer, the judge declares with a booming voice, "I sentence you to drink my root beer!" That has to be the best punishment anyone could ever get. This label is so incredible that Wapner can use it as an official form of identification, even for airport security purposes. And if you ever get pulled over, be sure you have one of these babies riding shotgun so the cops know you can't be intimidated when the law is on your side.

But probably the best part of this whole charade is that this is actually a pretty good root beer. It tastes similar to Jack Black's Dead Red Root Beer, but it's much more subtle on the flavor and has more carbonation for more of a bite. He probably wanted it to be that way so you can understand how it feels when he throws the book at you. Whether you're drinking his root beer or being sued by your neighbor, he wants you to understand what a privilege it is to have him presiding over your experience.

My official review is that Judge Wapner gets 8 (eight) IBCs. You can't run away from the law just like you can't run away from great taste. That's why i wouldn't dare give this thing any less of a rating. But in all seriousness, it's a good root beer, similar to many others, but the persona and the bite it packs pushes it above the rest. So go drink this root beer and then report back to your parole officer!

River City Root Beer

Well, it looks like the Pop Shop pulled through for me again and got a new root beer for me to try. I am running low on options around the valley here and i have gotten several leads from people that i will probably need to go online for, but this is one i had not yet heard of. So a big thank you goes out to the Pop Shop for its continued service of bringing me new root beers. If you haven't gone to the Pop Shop yet, you should go. They are good people, even though they are a bunch of hippies. Anyway, let me get to the good stuff. River City Root Beer is produced by Blue Dog Beverages out of Sacramento, CA. It turns out a lot of sodas are produced by Blue Dog, including one of my favorite non-root beer sodas, Leninade (also available at the Pop Shop). If you haven't had one yet, go get one. They are awesome. But anyway, back to River City...

The dark brown 12 oz. bottle has a fairly intricate, yet plain label on it. The name of the root beer is written in an almost calligraphy style font that it reminiscent of the days of Mark Twain's stories of river boat adventures. In fact, there is a picture of a river boat depicted on the label. River City beacons you to hearken back to a simpler time and enjoy a root beer the way it was meant to be enjoyed. A nice sentiment and all of that, but i think i, like most people, can't really relate since Mark Twain passed away in 1910. I'm not sure my grandma was even born at that time. So maybe the aim of River City should be to have me hearken back to a simpler time when Back to the Future was still in the movie theaters and Legos were merely simple geometric shapes. That might be a little more my time frame.

River City isn't a bad root beer, but i think my biggest complaint is that it's completely flat. No carbonation. That seems to be a growing epidemic in root beers, and i don't like it. I'm not looking to have you kill me with carbonation, but i like a good amount of it. River City has none. Other than that, it has a good root beer flavor, a hint of carmel, and maybe just a touch of wintergreen. It's a good flavor, but the lack of carbonation kills it for me. If this is their idea of having me remember the yesteryears of the mid to late 1800's, then they can keep it.

My official review is that River City gets 6 (six) IBCs. That rating could feasibly go higher had the soda contained at least a fair degree of carbonation. Alas, the marketing team for River City has yet to contact me and ask my extremely valuable opinion. It's up to you, my loyal readers, to clamor for improvement from this root beer on the edge of excellence. If anyone of you knows anyone in touch with this or any of these root beer companies, have them check out this blog for the opinion of the masses. I'd be happy to offer them some tips on how to make their root beers spectacular (for a fee). In fact, i'll do one now just to demonstrate my willingness to help...

Henry Weinhard's... stop making root beer. You're welcome.

Super Chill Root Beer

Ugh... i've been in Chicago for the weekend for a wedding (congrats Tyler and Lauren) and just got back this morning. We caught an early flight and i don't sleep well on airplanes, so i am cranky and moody right now. My lovely wife says i am acting like i am menstruating, but i assure you that isn't possible seeing that i am all man. Anyway, i made it a point to go to a grocery store to find some local root beers. I was lucky in that i found one that i have not already reviewed, but unlucky in that it was out of stock. But now that i know it's out there, i am making preparations to obtain a sample. On the up side, the trip to the store wasn't a complete waste because i found this "gem" (p.s. quotation marks in this case suggest that i am being sarcastic). It's the store brand (i assume) for a grocery chain called Jewel Osco, or if you had the same first impression as me, a strung out hippie folk singer with crooked teeth working in a pharmacy. It's actually a pretty nice and clean store though, and there are several of them in the downtown Chicago area (which i was surprised to find to be a very clean and fun city). So just like any chain grocer, this store puts out its own store brand version of several flavors of soda. That being the case, i didn't have very high expectations going in.

I picked this stuff up in a 2 liter bottle, although it is also available in cans. The label has a modern advertising style to it, silver and brown colors with a kind of space age/computerized font. Personally, i think the name needs some work. Just sounds sloppy and dumb, but these guys are just out to make money by low balling the root beer market, not wow and impress anyone. Well guess what... mission accomplished.

This stuff is less than average in every way possible. Like i said, i don't know what i was expecting, because it's not meant to be a big seller. But to better paint the picture for you, i was drinking this stuff from a Styrofoam cup in line at the airport while i was waiting to go through the security checkpoint since i couldn't take it on the plane thanks to the new regulations for liquids and gels in quantities greater than 3 oz. It was warm, and i got down about a half a liter before i had to throw the whole thing away and make my way through the security checkpoint. These are not my ideal reviewing conditions, but sometimes i just gotta make do and suffer for my craft. It's hard to be gifted. Anyway, i will say that Super Chill has a very nice aroma, almost like that of A&W, so i was hoping for the best. But other than that, it was pretty disappointing. The standard root beer flavoring was fairly sweet and sugary and it came on quite strong and faded quickly. In the end, i was just chugging carbonated sugar in an airport security line.

My official review is that Super Chill gets 3 (three) IBCs. To be completely fair, i didn't really do due diligence in my research efforts for this root beer. I picked it up, barely drank it, and discarded it so i didn't miss my flight. But to be completely honest, i don't feel that i need to. Had it been good, i would have put more effort into it. But when you get to bed at 12:30 AM and have to wake up at 3:00 in order to catch a flight at 5:00, you do what you can to make it all work. In this case, a bad root beer made my job easy. So thanks Super Chill, i guess. Anyway, Chicago is a lovely city. If you end up visiting, go see the big silver bean and eat at Lou Malanati's, but don't bother hitting up the local Jewel Osco for some Super Chill.